Signs your girlfriend Suspects that You’re a Closet Animal Lover

10: When she comes over to your house, she runs into your room with a sledge hammer and bashes your German Shepherd, Shasha, all the while saying, “Stop trying to steal my boyfriend, you fucking BITCH!!!!”

9: When she comes over to your house she ignores you and snuggles up to your Schnauzer(the DOG, you pervert!!!!) says “Hello, handsome, wanna play?” in order to make you jealous.

8: She buys you a chain and a leash for your birthday and instead of the usual necktie.

7: You tell her that you went to goof off for a while and rushes to the phone, checking out all of the zoos, animal shelters and stables in the area for any “unusual activity that happened within 24 hours.”

6: She took you to the vet instead of the doctor when you got sick with the flu.

5: She won’t let you on the couch any more….

4: When you tell her you sleep with the dog, she hopes that’s all you do.

3: Whenever a hot sexy dogwalker passes by the two of you, she gets jealous of the dogs, not the chick.

2: You spend countless hours that the guy in the internet picture fucking a dog is not you and it was your evil twin brother (yeah right!!!) who is trying to break up your relationship.

And the number one sign that Your Girlfriend suspects that you are a closet Animal Lover…

1: You wake up from a wild night of having sex with her and discover that she had you locked up in a cage with a doghouse while you were sleeping.